if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
