Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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