mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize