Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize