you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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