carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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