the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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