soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
false alarm, still single
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
