I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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