I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
