hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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