I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
