So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
