I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
