Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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