Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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