Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i dont even know how to be here
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
