I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
