I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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