it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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