I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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