so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
