There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
