I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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