You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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