obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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