I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
