Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
