Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it was like eating out sand paper
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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