he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My hand turned me down
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
