i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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