Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm really busy with my period
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