Pants 0. Shit 1.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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