Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
