She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
