im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
