Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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