She is in my trunk
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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