I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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