Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
