can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
