i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm at about main and main street
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
