Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
