Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
