so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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