Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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