She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
