she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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