Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
