I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
