This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
