Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Vodka?
Forever.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
