i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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