Me too!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
