Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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