how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
