Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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