you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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