Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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