dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
