Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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