you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
